Check out the pictures on the right.  

We snapped a few before surgery. 

Rudolph was kind enough to oblige to our crazy schemes.
_______________________________

Give me some thoughts of what you all are doing over Christmas Break

We're home!...yet longing for my REAL home.

WE ARE HOME!

We want to thank each one you who has prayed for us, called, wrote an encouraging word, and communicated your care and concern.

After seeing the doctor on Thursday I felt good enough to travel home!  

What a surprise of joy the kids had.  They had no idea, we just showed up.  

Andrew was able to go to Joshua's school Christmas program (when we last talked, and thought that we wouldn't be home in time to see his program, he played it off as not a big deal, he is very understanding like that, but when plans changed and we were there he was overcome with joy!).

Every day I have felt progress in the healing.  Nights have been the most difficult.  But each night gets a little easier.

It is so good to be home.

We missed our kids SO MUCH!

Life can be so difficult.  

Every time I experience pain of some kind my compassion grows bigger and bigger for others who are, or will, go through similar pain.  

I have known many people over the years whose lives have revolved around doctors, surgeries, hospitals, medicine, complications, and all the effects that those things have caused.  One gal's life in particular has always encouraged me.  From the moment her life began she was in and out of the hospital.  In fact she was there at least once a month for surgeries, infections, more surgeries, and everything else she needed to survive.  She has amazed the doctors who didn't think she would be able to function as well as she does, nor live as long as she has (she is around my own age).  She was always kind and loving.  She usually was smiling and positive.  And throughout it all she was in pain.  Constantly dealing with pain.  

 This world will always be full of pain.  

Physical, spiritual, emotional.  

Pain.

Oh how sweet heaven will be!  Can you imagine?  

Absolutely no pain?!  

No frustrating moments, no lack of purpose or emptiness, no lonliness or hopelessness, no grief, no hurt, no stress and no more battling temptation.

Pure joy.

A hope like no other.

A clarity and fullness of life.  

Complete satisfaction.

Strength and peace, wholeness.

We will be with the One who lovingly created us and designed us.  

As much as we try to know and understand God we cannot fathom His entirety.  

We only can grasp glimpses.  

Can you imagine seeing Him in His completeness?! 

I am still alive.

It is 7:30pm here in Arizona.

It was a much longer day than I expected.  I went in for surgery around 11:30am but didn't wake up from anistia until 2:00pm.  The prep is what took the most time.  Surgery was about 40 minutes.  We didn't leave until 4pm because it took a while to feel okay to leave.  I was not in as much pain as I thought I'd be in.  My head was at a 6 (1=low, 10=high), my lip was swollen, the roof of my mouth had been scraped, my throat was soar, my nose only hurt slightly.

When we got back to our hotel at 5pm I scarfed down two cups of chicken noodle soup.
My mouth is continually dry which is a frustrating thing.
Blood drips out my nose every now and then.  I have a small sling that is wrapped around my head and under my nose with gauze pressed against it to catch any blood.

I just got through a little panic attack.
It was the craziest thing.  I didn't realize what it was until I was 1/2 way through it.
My heart rate sped up.  I began feeling hot.  My head thumped.  Blood was dripping out my nose making me feel claustrophobic and anxious that I was loosing too much blood. 
Andrew and I were watching a show that began to get a little bloody and I had to look away.  Then I couldn't take it at all.
Soon my panic attack escalated.  Breathing was hard because my throat hurt and my mouth was so dry.  I didn't want to cry because I didn't want my nose to clog up.  It started thumping anyway.  It's hard for me to talk with this big chunk of gauze on my upper lip.  Poor Andrew could only look at me and hold my hand. 
I tried to load up Pandora.com so I could listen to some worship music.  But it wouldn't load.  :(
I prayed for peace.  Thanking God for being with me, caring for me, providing for our needs.
Psalm 34: " They who seek the LORD will not be in want of any good thing."

So here I am, sucking on ice chips to keep my mouth wet.   Taking deep breaths and reminding myself of what is TRUE:
Phil 4
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!...The Lord is near.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.... and the God of peace will be with you.

Surgery Day 12-15

Tomorrow my surgery is sometime between 10:30-11:30am.

I am feeling quite nervous about the septoplasty surgery.  It is not a difficult one.  But the details of it are very intense (at least they are to me since it is my nose).  

 
 Above is a normal, straight nasal septum.
 My septum (that middle bone going down the center of the nose) looks like the picture above, except at that point where it is most bent there is also a spur attached which touches the other side of the airway and is causing pressure and irritation. 

The doctor will cut away the skin on both sides of my septum.  Then he will remove a portion of the middle of the bone and the spur, leaving the top of the bone for support and shape of the nose.  Then he will sew the skin back together, so that there are no holes between the two airways.
He will insert a splint, maybe one for each side, to support the initial surgery and place gauze below the nose to catch any blood or fluid.
I'll let you know how it goes.
I go in at 10am and should be able to go home around 2pm.
I've heard that the first day the pain killers will probably make me out of it all day.
The first night I have to sleep sitting up.
Please pray for me when God brings me to mind.  I'm more nervous about the first couple days of recovery than I am of the actual surgery.  I've been pretty bummed out all day.
Thanks,
Jenn

Day 5

Sunday morning.

5 days since we've been here in Arizona.

2 days until my deviated nasal septum surgery.

Andrew is excersising and doing laundry downstairs in our hotel.

I took the opportunity for a much needed rest and alone time.

Maybe we are 1/2 way through our time here? 
We are hoping to be home by next Sunday. 
It will all depend on recovery and how the doctor feels I'm at after the surgery.  It's not a big surgery, it's actually quite simple.  But at the same time it takes a while to heal.  Just look up septoplasty surgery on Youtube if you want to know what they'll do (septoplasty).  Be careful though, it sure made me cringe. 

Home for Christmas?

Joshua, 

Angela 

and 

Jeremy,

This one's for you.  

You gotta listen to the great groov'n.

(there's some jibber jabberin in the beginning so let the video load and go to :25 seconds into the song to start it)

I saw the EarNoseThroat (ENT) Dr. this morning.  

He confirmed that surgery to correct the deviation in my nasal septum and remove the spur would be the best option for us at this point.

Looking again at the MRI scans, the deviation was very obvious.  There is little room inside the left airway of my nose.  Then if you add a spur onto that deviation, an area of bone that has pushed out, it gives even less room.  It is quite plausible for irritation to be happening in there.  Along with all my other symptoms this has seemed the best possible solution to date.  Although I don't like to get my hopes up too much...I really think this nose deal plays a big role in my headaches.  I'm not ruling out the fact that there might be more than one issue going on here too.  The positive side to all this is that even if it doesn't help my headaches (which I don't even want to imagine being the case, but it is something I have to face) at least my airway won't be as restricted.

After our appt. they gave us the bad news that pre-surgery appt. wouldn't be available until Thursday the 17th...then they'd have to wait 3 days for results then the sugery could be done...then we'd have to be here at least a week for recovery and post surgery checkup.  That means that I wouldn't be home until after Christmas sometime.  So many thoughts were swimming in my head. 
I had to lay it God's feet and let it go.

I knew that however long we were gone, at whatever time of year, it would be hard to be away yet God would still be with the kids and care for them  He will meet their needs.  He will comfort them and wipe their tears.  At this point, once I remembered my God, His omni-presence and His faithful love I was able to rest with confidence that no matter what it would be okay.

The secritary came back, after doing her best to see if there was any other way to get us in sooner...

she said that I could go straight to the pre surgery apptments.  

They would get me in today!

She called us an hour later saying that they could schedule the actual surgery for next Tuesday, the 15th!  

That means a week later we'll be home...for Christmas!

Palm 34

Psalm 34 (New American Standard Bible)

    ¹I will bless the LORD at all times;
         His praise shall continually be in my mouth.
    ²My soul will make its boast in the LORD;
         The humble will hear it and rejoice.
    ³O magnify the LORD with me,
         And let us exalt His name together.
    ⁴I sought the LORD, and He answered me,
         And delivered me from all my fears.
    ⁵They looked to Him and were radiant,
         And their faces will never be ashamed.
    ⁶This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him
         And saved him out of all his troubles.
    ⁷The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him,
         And rescues them.
    ⁸O taste and see that the LORD is good;
         How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
    ⁹O fear the LORD, you His saints;
         For to those who fear Him there is no want.
    ¹⁰The young lions do lack and suffer hunger;
         But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.
    ¹¹Come, you children, listen to me;
         I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
    ¹²Who is the man who desires life
         And loves length of days that he may see good?
    ¹³Keep your tongue from evil
         And your lips from speaking deceit.
    ¹⁴Depart from evil and do good;
         Seek peace and pursue it.
    ¹⁵The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous
         And His ears are open to their cry.
    ¹⁶The face of the LORD is against evildoers,
         To cut off the memory of them from the earth.
    ¹⁷The righteous cry, and the LORD hears
         And delivers them out of all their troubles.
    ¹⁸The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
         And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
    ¹⁹Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
         But the LORD delivers him out of them all.
    ²⁰He keeps all his bones,
        Not one of them is broken.
    ²¹Evil shall slay the wicked,
         And those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
    ²²The LORD redeems the soul of His servants,
         And none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned.

Another Arizona Trip..taking fudge

I've been terrible at posting.  

I've really wanted to.  

I've sat at the computer starting to.  

But every time I've been called away, 

or too busy to actually write something, 

or my head hurts and I can't focus, 

etc, etc, etc!

:)

We are going to Arizona tomorrow, Tuesday.  

We will meet with the different doctors and decide what will be done.  So far it looks like I might have surgery done on my nasal septum to remove the spur and/or correct the deviation.  The surgery itself doesn't take too long but recovery takes a few weeks.

I'll keep you posted.

My Grandma invited 

my Mom, sister, Angela and I over to her house for our 

2nd Annual 

Candy Making Day.

 THIS IS TERRI, MY SIS, STIRRING THE MAKINGS FOR FUDGE...YES, I SAID FUDGE!

THIS IS THE FUDGE MADE AND READY TO SIT FOR 24 HOURS 

We had a great time chopping, stirring, pouring,

TASTING, 

talking,

and LAUGHING!

ANGELA, SPREADING THE ALMONDS ON THE ENGLISH TOFFEE

TERRI AND ANGELA

MY SWEET MOM

WHEN WE ARRIVED AT MY GRANDMA'S HOUSE THEY ALL SURPRISED ME WITH AN EARLY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION.

CANDY MAKING AND HANGING OUT WAS SUPER ENOUGH...

BUT TO ADD ON CAKE AND PRESENTS!

THAT WAS SUPER SPECIAL.

Rethinking Christmas

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.  

I sure love being with family.

December 8th Andrew and I are flying back to Arizona.  I will probably have surgery on my nose to correct the deviation and remove the spur (if you missed the last post it gives all the details about that).    When we get back you'll have to keep an eye out for all my lovely Christmas pictures with gauze stuffed up my swollen nose.  :)   Maybe I'll just pretend to be Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer all season.

 Speaking of Christmas...



Our church has been encouraging us to rethink how we view and respond to Christmas.
For quite a few years now we've been trying to break the mold of what the media promotes to create "the atmosphere of Christmas": which is consumerism.  
Here are a few things that I appreciate about what was said the past couple Sundays:

Instead of giving presents give our presence.  

Relationships. 

Spend less money, and give more of ourselves.

Instead of spending money on things that people don't really want, or will get bored with in a couple weeks, or send our credit cards to the brink, think carefully about putting together gifts that encourage spending time together.  Or make something that reflects your skills and talents you have like photography, writing, cooking, crafting, building, etc.  
Those things take time, but that adds value to your gift.


A new thought that was presented to me was:
Every dollar we spend represents what we support.  There is nothing wrong with all those great stores out there.
But what do I REALLY want to support?   

Every dollar I spend is my vote for what I support either intentionally or unintentionally.

There are many wonderful organizations that are truly helping people and meeting needs that I could support by buying gifts from them.
Start thinking outside of the box!

Check out this web site that gives many options:

Rethinking Christmas

There are many great gift ideas at that web site.   

Just think, you could buy a gift for someone you love and at the same time your gift results in truly giving to the needy and hungry.

Arizona - What the doctor nose (knows) about me:

Thank you everyone for praying for us and the comments you have left us here or on FaceBook, or the hugs at church.  We appreciate you all!

I am sitting at home drinking my coffee reflecting over the past few days.

It is so wonderful being all together as a family.   We missed Joshua immensly!  We wish he could've come with us to Arizona.  He adds fun and brightness to our family.   We are looking forward to this next week where we get to have him home all week!

Andrew had a great time with Angela and Jeremy in AZ while I was laying down and resting.  It was good bonding for all of them.    They got to have lots of fun together.

During our 10 hour drive I would look in the back seat at the two kids and see them holding hands.  So sweet.  Angela would constantly find games for the two of them to play together.  She would help Jeremy when he needed it and encourage him.  Someday she will make a great babysitter or mommy.  She has a way of talking to him that is so mature and responsible.  

Jeremy would keep saying, "Angela my brother or sister?  I love my sister."

After this 3rd blood patch, I still have my headaches.  

Big PRAISE:   The recovery has not been bad at all!  

No pain in my legs, just the usual pain at the needle insertion sight.

We talked to a different neurologist this time (because our usual Dr. was out for two weeks).  It was nice getting a different perspective.  He was very intent to take time to study the different MRI and Cat Scans and tests I've gone through.  He wasn't as personable as our other dr. but I think he's going to add a good demention to the care we receive.

He said that he does not think that my headaches are from a spinal leak.  If they were they would've been resolved with the blood patches.  Also the steady placement of where my head hurts he believes gives way that the irritation must be located in that region or near there.

Here is one idea he presented us with:
He restudied tests I had done on my head and with the Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor.
I have a devited septum with a small spur.
Translated: one side of the airway in my nose is smaller than the other side with part of the inside wall slightly touching the other side.  The tissue in that area is very sensitive and if it gets continually pressed on it could cause pain.

We had heard all this info before, from the ENT dr., except he said that it wouldn't cause pain, only that it would slightly restrict breathing on that one side (which I have noticed for a long time).  He didn't think it had anything to do with my headaches.

Thus, the two Dr.'s will converse (or might I say argue about it!) and then get back to us on their thoughts.  :)






This is a Normal Septum
Its straight, right down the middle...
(the bottom of the picture shows the opening into where you breathe in and up into your sinuses).







This isn't my scan but it is a picture of a Deviated Septum (the middle ridge "breaks it's straight line" and goes off a different direction and then back again).
Do you see how the middle ridge curves off to the left, practically poking the other side of the nasal passage?
That's what mine does.  






Here's a picture of a septal spur.  It causes the deviated septum to touch the other side, causing pain:






In the meantime I was sent home with a numbing agent to drop in my nose.  If it is able to relieve the pain I feel then we have a good agument that my headaches are due to the septal spur.

The other idea he had was:
There are nerves that come out of the scull near the eyebrows and behind the eyes.  If they have been irritated or pinched somehow they could cause pain in that area.

(I have done a lot of study on that already.  It seemed quite likely to me so I had done some research.  My pain is not the normal description of pain a person would get from nerve irritation in that area but rather atypical, but it could fit).

Click here to go to a link that shows the facial nerves.

If the septal spur doesn't seem like the solution we can also try to numb the nerves that I described above and see if that relieves the pain I feel.

Blood Patch

We made it to Arizona.  It was a loooonnng drive.  I've never driven this direction before so it was all quite fascinating.  Angela and Jeremy did great. 

The worst part was: about 4 hours into the drive Angela began looking pale and sick.  She puked all over her blanket on her lap.  Thankfully most of it was contained.  We made a quick deture and amazingly there was a CVS Pharmacy right there in the desert, right when we needed it.  Thank you God!  One Dramamine later and we were back on the road.

This morning, Wednesday, I went in for another Blood Patch.

This one was intensely painful and they were only able to put in about 1/4th of the amount of blood that they put in last time.  They even tried another location to see if they could put more in, but without much success.  

 The Dr. who was leading the procedure was very concerned about the nerve pain I had in my legs last time and did everything possible to be sure it wouldn't happen again.

So far the recovery has been much better.  My back is not in pain and my legs feel fine.

On the way home from the hospital I could feel the pressure in my head.   Even now as I am laying down I feel it.  Nothing major, just that normal, dull, achy pressure.  Normal.  Not what I want to feel. 

Hope: that maybe it will progressively get better?  Not what is supposed to happen.  The blood patch is supposed to seal any leak up within a few hours, producing a pretty immediate effect.  I will still somehow keep hope that maybe...?

I have to admit I'm fighting the emotion to give up courage.  But I am keeping my mind on the truth in God's Word.

Thank you Michelle for the scripture you posted in the comments of the last post: Proverbs 

18:10- "The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." 

Psalm 70:4-5- "But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, 'Let God be exalted!' Yet I am poor and needy; O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay." 

Job 1:2- "I know that You can do all things; no plans of yours can be thwarted."

The Lord is a Strong Tower, Deliverer, He can do all things, and none of His plans can be thwarted.  We are weak, poor, and needy. We need to be delivered and we can not do all things.  His ways are not are ways.  His ways are perfect. When we are weak; He is strong. His power is made perfect in our weakness.   His grace is sufficient.   May you rely on Him and His truth today.

GREAT DAY

Yesterday was a GREAT day.

I hardly felt any thickness in my head and there was no pain!

We even had a busy cleaning day.

The kids surprised me with their good attitudes as we all pitched in and worked together.  It was the most cleaning I've done in a long time.  It felt so good!  I kept waiting for the headache to kick in...but it never came.

What a wonderful break!  My body was sore from all the cleaning..a good sore, the kind that comes when you've been productive.

 Angela's drawing of our Thanksgiving Cornucopia

Today (Thursday) the headache was back.  Not in full force, but definitely there.

But the rain cheered me up.  I love the rain.  The sound of it is so soothing.  It causes me to dream of popcorn and family board games around a fire place...

The Mayo Clinic called and scheduled me in for another Blood Patch.  The Dr. is quite positive that the spinal fluid leak is still the problem.  He said that sometimes it takes a couple procedures before it works.  He would rather we make sure that we've given it all the focus we can before we move onto a different path.

We will be heading back to AZ on Tuesday, the Blood Patch will happen Wednesday morning and we'll drive back home Friday.

Am I looking forward to this?

The 1st patch was bad, recovery okay.

The 2nd patch was not too bad, recovery very difficult.

The 3rd one...

I Will Lift My Eyes

Thank you God that I can trust you.  

You are the unchanging holy God.  

Everything You do is perfect and right.  

You are all powerful, all knowing, ever present.

Even when fear and doubt surround me

I know I can hold fast to Your truth.

You know all about the pain I am in.

You are my Deliverer.
 

 Psalm 91:1,2

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High 

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, 

My God in whom I trust!"

Hello, my long lost friend.

  Hello, my long lost friend.

  

 We have not spent time together in over a year.

My fingers don't have your evidence anymore.

 I'm sorry it has taken so long for me to invite you over.

I've thought of you often.  

We used to spend hours together.

You have been with me during some of my highest of highs and lowest of lows.

There is something about working together to produce praise to God that has been comforting to my soul.  My heart enjoyed how God has used you to draw me before His throne.

I have been humbled many times by my inadequacies and God's working in and through my weaknesses for His glory.

But there you have sat, 

closed up in a case,

until now.

Even though your case is dusty

as I pulled you out you are still beautiful and shiny.

 

 As I began to play my fingers surprisingly remember 

where they are supposed to go.

I am a bit rusty.

Although it will take a while for my hand to regain it's strength,

the aches and pains are an old familiar feeling.

In the end it is worth the effort and perseverance.

I am looking forward to spending time together in the days to come 

to sing praise to the King of Kings, my Everything.

Music is a gift from God to us

that we can give back to Him in worship.

Backwards Halloween

What were two clowns 

and Darth Vader 

doing this morning?

 

Backwards Halloween

I am not a big fan of Halloween.  So when we were invited to participate in something that would use the halloween day as a vehicle for sharing God's love we were down with it.

The idea was to reverse the "halloween trick-or-treat" idea into a time of giving and loving instead.

      We dressed up, bought some candy and went down the street to Tent City: an area where the homeless take up shelter in their tents.

      It was a beautiful sunny morning so many people were out walking around or sitting on the road.   The kids loaded up their hands with candy and boldly went from person to person greeting them and handing them sweets.

      The smiles we received were precious!  A couple people were overcome with gratefulness, especially seeing young children being a part of it.  Most of them were amused and just enjoyed the candy.  A few too drunk or stoned to really care.  There were only two children that we saw, dirty, snotty little ragamuffins.  They were a little scared of the costumes but lit up like light bulbs when they were given candy!

      It would be easy to judge the people there because many of them choose to be there because of handouts, free food from a nearby ministry, or their choice of lifestyle. 

      Growing up downtown I saw many things.  I experienced people who said they were in need but when food was given to them instead of money they rejected it.  They only wanted support for their alchohol or drug addiction.  Yet at the same time my heart would grieve for them with compassion.  Not because of their lifestyle but because of their need for a Savior.  They were trapped in a place of lonliness, hopelessness, sadness, sin and shame.

      The dirt and trash, the smell, the language, the  incoherent stupor that many are in does not bother me.  All that is on the outside of the body.  But what is in the heart is the important part.  They want to be wanted just like all of us.  They want to be loved just like all of us.  They want to be free and find satisfaction just like all of us.  But they are lost, just like we all are, or have been.  They all need Jesus Christ, just like us all.

      Often I am too judgemental or impatient to really see people as God does.  I have prayed many times that God would increase my love and compassion for people.  When we pray this God is faithful to open the eyes of our hearts and to give us a love like His.  To lay down our lives...our rights, our comfort, our preconceived ideas, our selfishness...in exchange for a joy that is beyond compare.

Hillcrest Pumpkin Patch

Hillcrest Pumpkin Patch

A beautiful day - an adventurous place to discover.

Jeremy loved having his cousin Edie there to play with.

The best part was the train ride.  We had to wait a while, but it was worth the wait!

Our newest cousin, Emery.  Such a sweetie!

 

 

The Three Tales

The Three Tales

 1. Language 101
One of the fun things with adopting a child from a foriegn contry is the language transition.
Jeremy has crossed over to english very well and every day is understanding more and more.
Yesterday morning I was letting our dog, Izzy, out of her crate and she did her routine stretches, shake, then little sneeze.  It always makes me laugh how cute she looks when she does her morning stretches.  It makes me want to hug her!
Jeremy was eating breakfast in the kitchen, where Izzy's crate is also.
I commented to Izzy, "You are so cute Izzy girl."
Jeremy looked so confused and questions, "GIRL?  Izzy's not a girl!"
Andrew and I couldn't help but laugh!
Jeremy had no idea why I would call a dog a girl (a human)! 
I wrapped him up in my arms and snuggled him with kisses.


Someday we'll explain whats a girl/boy facts to him, instead we just let it slide and enjoyed the moment.

2. Got Fever?

Joshua has had a fever for the past 2 days so he has stayed home from school.  Angela has enjoyed having him home!
This morning he woke up not feeling good at all (it was time for more medicine).

You know your boy is growing up when he wants to watch football instead of a movie.  Because Joshua was out of it I was going to let him watch a movie.  But instead he wanted to watch a football game on ESPN.360 on the computer.

 Angela and Jeremy sat with him for a while too.

3. Police!  

 Last night, while Andrew was gone helping with some construction/repair work at church, I took the kids upstairs to the out door "play roof" while it was still light out.


(Back when I was a kid, and lived in this 3 story building, this was where we played.  It is on the roof of the floor below, and has walls and fencing all around it to make it safe).

All 3 kids haven't played together in a while so they had a great time of tag and hide 'n seek

I let them yell and be loud as they chased each other around.  We don't have anywhere else they can do that so they went at it with all their hearts.

As it began getting dark I took the kids downstairs and put Jeremy in the bathtub.

Just at that moment my Grandmother came up the stairs (with her caretaker) to her little apt. that is located next to our's.
The caretaker was calling out my Dad's name...which is unusual so I went out to see what she needed.

Up past her strode two police officers!

Surprised and concerned I went toward them and asked what was wrong and how I could help them.

The younger officer (in his early 20's) was quite abrubt and asked me to "contain your dog, mam".
(Izzy was at the door to greet them with her usual friendly curiosity and tail wagging).  Both officers followed me into the house as I put Izzy in her crate.

The younger guy announced, "We were called over here because of a disturbance of children screaming.  We've been walking around the building trying to find a way to get in.  It sounded very bad and we are going to look around."

"Oh no!"  I groaned, "We were just upstairs playing and the kids were awfully loud!  I am so sorry!  You must have heard them playing.  One of our boys is from an orphanage and is used to being very loud.  Please, look around.  Would you like me to show you where we were?"

I had to call my Mom because Jeremy was in the tub.  She came down and escorted the gal officer up to look around while the guy prodeeded to look around our house.
He came back to me and asked questions.

Jeremy thought it was quite cool that a police man was in HIS house.
The abruptness began smoothing out of the officer as Jeremy kept interrupting him with his non-stop talking, "I'm Jeremy.  I'm 4.  Are you a police man?!  What are you doing?  I am from Haiti.  You go to Haiti?  I fly in a airplane!"

As the police were satisfied with their search and took down our information I thanked them for their concern.  If there really were kids in trouble it is good that there were people who took the time to call and get involved.

Even though everything was fine my heart was pounding after they left.  It was nerve wracking having police appear at my door all of a sudden!

But all ended well.

His mercies are new every morning

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." 

Last night we had the fire place on.

It was such a cozy feeling.

The crisp, cool air was seeping in through the windows yet as I sat in front of the fire place the warmth circled around me like a blanket.

Comfort, calm, peace.

My lower back is still in a lot of pain.  It took a while to get to sleep last night because of it.  The evenings are the worst.  It is a constant ache.  I've been trying to stay sitting or laying down as much as possible.  

Andrew and the kids have been wonderful helpers.  It is hard for me to be so helpless.  As a wife it has been my duty and my joy to provide an atmosphere of rest and peace especially for Andrew when he comes home from work.  But since I am out of commission the weight of responsibility is heavier for him rather than lighter.  He is taking it so well but I can see it wearing on him.  It has been a long month.

When we rest in the strength that God provides 

it doesn't make it easier to get through 

but it makes it possible to get through.

I cannot express in words the gratefulness I have for every single person who has 

prayed for us, 

encouraged us, 

given us scripture, 

said they were thinking about us, 

watched the kids,

provided a meal or groceries.

I am thankful for you, the body of Christ, and the love that you have shown us.   No matter how small or big the gesture, it is through you that God has sustained us.

Home sweet home.

Driving back home from the air port was such a crazy deal. It seemed like such a distant time ago that I drove down that road last. I can't even remember the last time I actually drove our car.
Seeing our kids for the first time in "forever" was so wonderful. I missed their hugs and kisses so much.

I had to arrive in a wheelchair because it hurt too much to walk.
It was kind of funny.
I left Fresno with a headache and came back in a wheelchair!

The last procedure that I had done was another blood patch. Which was targeted at the leak in the spinal fluid at the bottom of my spinal column. The immense pressure that was put on the nerves on my lower back to the back of my calves was unbearable. But they got the blood in the area they needed it to go. It takes a while to recover from this. Since my body went through a bunch of other things it was already kind of beat up. So the next couple days, week, is all about recovery.

Today has been a good day. I've been able to sit and walk around.

Sometimes when I get up I feel fine.

Other times I get shooting pain that comes from my lower back all the way up to my brain and all I can do is sit back down.

Baby steps, baby steps.

Here are a bunch of pictures for your enjoyment:

MEET SPINEY:
(please, I know what you are thinking, "What in the world is that?!" Well, I blame it all on my childish sense of humor. I thought that since I was going to have this grand adventure of doctor visits -and spinal fluid- that I might as well take a friend along for the ride...thus, Spiney was born.)

SPINEY IN ARIZONA TAKING A BREAK IN THE COOL SHADOW OF A CACTUS

GREAT PIZZA PLACE:

did you see Spiney?

The doctors beat me up a bit. A guy injected a dye 2 weeks ago into my arm before a scan and didn't put enough pressure on it this is what it looked like a couple days after, bruises all up and down my arm (it looked worse in person):
Here's what it looks like today:
I just told everybody that Andrew was misbehaving so I put him in a choke hold and this is what happened to my arm....nobody seemed to believe me though. I don't know why not.

SPINEY'S FAVORITE ICE CREAM JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE OUR FAVORITE ALSO:
Oh, you'll love this story:

The "schedulers" had me come in at 7am to get pledgets put up my nose. This was for a radiation scan to see if any spinal fluid was leaking out my nose (I had this done in my home town but they messed up on the tests so we had to do them over again).
I say "schedulers" because all they do is schedule people coming in and out. They don't know what tests are what.
The doctor wasn't going to scan my body until 12:45pm. That's over 5 1/2 hours after these pledgets went in. I couldn't understand how they would stay in that long, but oh well.
11:30am came very slowly. I can't explain what it is like having three cotton sticks stuffed up each side of my nose. It felt like they were touching my brain. My snot could only go into them or down my throat. Unfortunately after 4 hours they were full of snot and my nose didn't want them in there any longer. I began sneezing uncontrollably.
They were coming loose.
We had to go back to the ENT doctor and have new ones put in.
Can I just pop a little detail in at this point. Putting those little buggers in there IS VERY PAINFUL.
Then I went back to the doctors and was injected with the radiation...painful.
Then I rolled onto a stretcher and was taken to the scanners where I laid for a half an hour choking on my snot, trying to hold still.
Then I was rolled to a waiting area and was laid out for another 1 1/2 hours until I got scanned again. 1/2 hour of holding still choking.

Here I am trying my best to not look dead:

SPINEY WAS MY PAL
Then I finally gave the scanner guy the wonderful priviledge of pulling the cotton goobers out. It was so lovely...and SO PAINFUL!
But I've never loved blowing my nose so much until then.


SPINEY WAS SUCH A TROOPER THAT WE TREATED HIM TO SUSHI IN ARIZONA WHEN HE WAS FEELING OKAY: