Could it be? Yes it could.

I am here, I promise.

:)

Just to let you know the last BAD day I had was 3 weeks ago!

I'm not saying I feel great, 
or that my headaches are gone...

But wonderfully, my days seem on the majority to be doing better. 

Every day I feel the headaches and sometimes I still get nauseous from them.  But I haven't had a day that I've been laid out and wasted feeling!

WHY?

It could be that my septal surgery (to correct the deviation and spur that was causing irritation in my nose) could finally be healing completely.
It could be that because of the surgery I've been breathing better which means I'm SLEEPING BETTER!
It could all be a fluke and I'm just having a couple good weeks (the headaches normally go up and down any way).
Could it be that relaxation is helping?  I've really been working on every minute relaxing my facial muscles and my shoulders, and having good posture.  Do you know how hard it is to relax facial muscles?!  I almost feel like I'm frowning all the time...or "dead pan".  It is very hard for me to do that.  A dead-pan face is one that looks grumpy, unapproachable, cold.  Not the vibe I want to put out there!   
When I go out I try to limit my expressions, but at the same time not go "stone faced"!


Could it be All The Above?
Could it be all the chocolate ice cream I've been eating?
           Yes, that must be it.

Could it be...............ahhhhh!  

So many could be's.

I had energy today so I spent the afternoon in the kitchen...until dinner.
I prepped a meal for Sunday.
I prepped veggies for the next week.
I made Risotto: This is the picture during the middle of the process.
(only my second time ever...Andrew said it turned out great and that Chef Ramsey couldn't say one bad thing about it.  Isn't that sweet?!)
Baked potatoes.
Cooked Broccoli.
Broiled Salmon.

MMMMmmmmmmmMMMM

The past couple months I've been living off of easy one-dish meals or simple recipes that don't require thinking and that I can serve with a salad.  It was fun getting back into the groove.  But it sure wore me out!

Angela got her reading glasses today!
She LOVES them.

I can't wait to do school with her on Monday and see if it makes a difference. 

"Call to Me"

One of the joys I've had as a mom has been to homeschool my kids.  

It has been an adventure studying each child deeply enough to know how to teach them. 

We have had GREAT days and difficult days...that is just how it is when you combine teacher and mom together.   

(Joshua is now in public school because of my headaches)

 

I wanted to share this journal entry with you.  For me, writing is one way I can process through my muddled thoughts into clarity.

I tried to upload pictures...but it wouldn't work.  :(

BACKDROP:

I was sitting with Angela patiently teaching her a concept in math.  

The problem wasn't that she didn't understand.  

It was that she didn't want to do it and refused to put any effort into doing it right.  

She persuaded herself that she didn't, and couldn't, understand.

Of course, my head hurt....and my heart hurt that she was not using our time wisely.  (my head only has a limited amount of time, plus my sister-in-law was watching Jeremy for a couple hours so I could focus better)

January 19, 2010

Lord, it breaks my heart when I give my all, 

in patience, 

sacrificing my own will for the sake of helping my child and they take it for granted.  Not only that but despise it and throw it in the dirt.  

She does not realize the agony it causes inside of me.  Her heart is stubborn, selfish and spoiled.  She has taken all the goodness I have poured out and ignored it, only focusing on the hard problem at hand.  Does she not see all I have given up for her?  Of course not.  She doesn't realize that somewhere else she wouldn't get the instruction, approval, grace, encouragement, free time, game time or the creative aspect of school that she experiences today.  She just doesn't get it.

Father, I pour this out to You because You are very familiar with this scenario.  You have give US, Your children, everything we need to be satisfied and content.  You provide for us physically, spiritually, emotionally.  

You have given us more than we need.  

You gave us Your Son who sacrificed His will, His body, His love for US...

and yet, what do we do?

Complain.

Grumble.

Pout.

Our perspective is so limited, 

so shallow.

The problem I face is often all I can see rather than putting that problem in it's place in comparison to the goodness that You have poured out on me.  When You extend Your firm guide toward me, it is to shape me into a pure and holy vessel.  Your purpose is not not to cause pain, or to make life hard, but for my best and to draw me to Yourself.

So there she sits on her chair, for at least a half hour now,

Angry.

Resting my hand on her shoulder I say, "when your heart is humble and ready to listen, instead of argue, CALL ME and I will COME and HELP you."

I want to help her.  I want her to succeed.  I want her to have the joy of conquring.

But an angry, stubborn heart cannot hear that message.  All instruction is shut out.  The lies of Satan are the only thing that appeals.  Those subtle lies that cause doubt of the One who who LOVES us.

Lord, guard my own heart from stubbornness.  It only produces anger at You, anger at others.  

An angry heart often is attractive at first because it stand up for my own will, 

my pride, 

my self.  

It is all about me.  

And for a short while it feels good.  

Lies those subtle lies.

A stubborn heart does not lead any where but to grief, pain, suffering and destruction (of self and relationship).

If only she would call to me!  
I would answer quickly and help her solve her math problem.  Then she would be done.  She could enjoy fellowship once again with me.  We, together, would conquer the rest of school.  
It would be fun and full of discovery.

Is that what You say to me, Lord?

"Call to Me.  I will answer you quickly.  I AM your answer.  I will satisfy your every desire.  

In ME, the I AM, Yahweh, is your life, peace and joy.  

When we are in right relationship, pure from sin, you will find completeness.  You will discover the purpse of life and the adventure of life with ME."

SHE just CALLED my name!  

I've gotta run...

Jenn

 2 CHRONICLES 16:9

...for the eyes of the LORD  move to and fro throughout the earth that HE may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.

 2 CHRONICLES 34:27

"Because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before God...because you humbled yourself before Me, tore your clothes and wept before Me, I truly have heard you," declares the LORD. 

 PSALM 34:4,6

I sought the LORD and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

This poor man cried and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. 

PSALM 66:17, 19

If I regard wickedness in my heart, The Lord will not hear;

But certainly God has heard; He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.

 

Sameritans Purse (AKA: Opperation Christmas Child)

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/

Here is another link for information on relief efforts.

Great pictures and stories.

The first week of relief work following the earthquake that struck Haiti on January 12th. Samaritan's Purse teams arrived immediately and began working with our ministry partners including Baptist Haiti Mission to provide medical help for victims of the quake.

HAITI

Dear friends,
 
Many people have expressed their concern for Haiti and have asked us how Haiti is doing. 
We wanted to send out information and links so you can read the info directly.
The pictures and tragedies are indescribable.
Haiti is suffering.  Please pray for the people, the missionaries, the orphanages.  Port-A-prince, where the center of the earthquake hit is the  center of Haiti's government.  Much of it is destroyed.  It is such a big city, packed with people that almost everyone in Haiti has some relative who lives there and has either died or is wounded. 
The children there have lost parents and family, either they are dead or are missing.  Please pray for their protection so they can be reunited with their parents or that they will be taken care of somehow. 
The orphanages in Haiti were full before the earthquake...now, there is just not enough room. 
It is devastating.  Please pray that God would be glorified and that the gospel will reach people that normally wouldn't be reached.
Also pray for the strength of those serving in the middle of it all.  They are worn out, physically and emotionally.  Life continues even in the midst of tragedy.

Andrew and Jenn

God's Littlest Angels - Jeremy's orphanage

-  Dixie's blog.  (http://www.glahaiti.org/blog_dixie_haiti)  -if you are interested in reading the first hand accounts from GLA

    donate to GLA--They will be taking in many of the newly orphaned children.
    You can also send a payment to:
    God's Littlest Angels
    2085 Crystal River Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80915

    All donations are tax deductible.

Here are a list of blogs I have followed to get more information:

http://heartsongsfromhaiti.blogspot.com/

http://movingmountainshubleystyle.blogspot.com/ -Adopted from Haiti

http://thewatsonunit.blogspot.com/         -Adopted from Haiti

Livesay's blog ( http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/)  -this is a missionary family that lives in Haiti.

Heartline Ministries (  http://heartlineministries.org/default.aspx  ) --also updates on here and any donations sent here would go straight to helping the people.

http://www.worldvision.org/

http://www.christianfriendshipministries.org/

http://www.ywam.org/articles/article.asp?AID=759

http://www.haitihospital.org/

Here is a letter we just received from friends who serve in Haiti:

Dear Family and friends,

Peterson (who is native to Haiti) and I were in California for the birth of our daughter, Taberah when the earthquake hit Port-au-Prince, Haiti. We were in shock at what happened, worried about our family and friends there and at the same time relieved that Taberah was spared from being there at this time.

Since then we have learned that Peterson's immediate family are safe as well as the St. Marc YWAM base where we have been serving for 6 years. Unfortunately we've also had news of several friends who've been killed or deeply effected by the earthquake.
We've been planning to move to Port-au-Prince for over 2 years now, and had recently rented an apartment near the center of the city. Everything we have is packed up in St. Marc, ready to move upon our return. We don't know if the apartment is still standing.

Peterson felt very strongly that he should return right away to Haiti, as this city is his area of ministry. He left with another man from Gleanings for the Hungry,  (located in Dinuba, CA) yesterday morning. They flew into the Dominican Republic and should have crossed the border today. Peterson plans to be there for 3-4 weeks before returning to us in CA and traveling with myself and the baby, back to Haiti.

Yesterday as I was sitting in church, flooded with emotion about what has happened in Haiti and sad about being separated from Peterson for a time, I became overwhelmed by a feeling of support all around me. It was as if I could feel all of you surrounding our family and laying hands on us as you pray.
I broke down in tears, extremely grateful for the Body of Christ.

Thank you so much for your prayers, e-mails and phone calls. We are so blessed to have you in our lives. I will do my best to keep you updated. I have also been posting updates on my facebook, (Lucy Georges) if you would like to connect that way.

We believe that God will use this situation for the re-building of Haiti and that He is already using it to call the world's attention to the country to see it happen.

Our hope and trust is in Him, even if we do not understand all that is happening.

Many blessings,

Sarah Lucy Georges

Some people have asked how they can help financially. I suspect many of you have already given to the relief efforts and bless you for that. For those who haven't given, or for those who want to give again, here are a few suggestions.

If you want to give a tax deductible gift that Peterson can use for his relief efforts and ministry in Haiti, you can make the check out to 'The Downtown Church' and on a separate piece of paper indicate it is for Haiti. These can be mailed to:

                        The Downtown Church
                        1441 Fulton St.
                        Fresno, CA  93721

If you want to give in general to the relief efforts that the YWAM base in St. Marc is
coordinating, mail your gift payable to 'YWAM Haiti' marked "Earthquake Relief" and mail to:

                        YWAM Haiti
                        PO Box 236
                        Akron, PA 17501

Or you may also make a contribution online at this link
https://www.ywam.org/secure/donations/donate.asp?project=10

Thank you for your prayers
and gifts!

The local media has been interviewing us. There was a story in the Fresno Bee on Thursday, January 14th. (See www.fresnobee.com and search 'missionary
couple Haiti'.)

Also, the local ABC channel here interviewed us on the day of the quake and also yesterday that can be seen at this
link

Search the video section with
'fresno native haiti'.

He is Able, more than able

Journal entry 1/12/10

Psalm 10:17

You hear O LORD the desire of the afflicted; You encourage them and You listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed.

Thank You Lord God, Yahweh, for the past couple of days.  You have encouraged me not to loose hope.  

My heart is still greatly saddened that I am not healed, but I am no longer depressed.

I know You love me even though You choose to not heal me at this moment.  

You hear me.  

You weep with me.  

You long to have me in the beauty of Your holy Splendor, where I can be complete in Your perfect peace and rest.  Until that time You have promised to strengthen me to endure by the empowering of Your Holy Spirit.

I am weak.  

My pain limits what I can do.  

But I a not powerless.  I can still love.  I can still pray.  I can still encourage.  I can still be compassionate, I can still enjoy Your ever-presence.

All my concerns and fears rest at Your feet.  

There is so much that I am unable to do, be or give.  

You are Able.

I cannot pour into my kids as much as I would love to.  

I know You will take care of them and meet their needs.  

You love them deeply and perfectly.  

They are always in Your presence.  

Use this difficult time to mature their love for You.  
As You shape them make these years be important in drawing them personally to You.  Not just in knowledge but in relationship.  Shape them into sincere people.  Do not let their hearts grow callous or stubborn to You.  Like the beautiful sunrise You blessed us with this morning, create in them a desire for You that will shine in beauty so others will see and glorify You.  Even while they are young spark their hears with love and compassion for people, for the hurting, the lonely, the forgotten and dispised. 

Bedroom Makeover

Andrew gave me a gift on New Years:  a place that I can go to rest, refresh, and renew. 

A bedroom Makeover.

It was the perfect idea. 

I've needed a place that is quiet and clear of clutter.  

One of the things that increases the level of pain in my head is noise and lots of movement.

(one other thing we have done is to remove all bouncy, and loud ruckus type toys from near the bedroom areas and into our large Family room in hopes to keep the noise down).

A while back someone read the definition of retreat.  In battle, the troops pull back so that they can regroup, strategize, mend wounds, and rest.  

That is exactly what I this room will be used for.

Here are a couple pictures of what the room looks like after we moved furniture around and took out everything we didn't need to have in there: 

The shelves on the right will be covered with a curtain that we will hang all the way across the open area.

Here is a picture of our bed with our old bedspread

...we have a dear friend who is so graciously gifting us with a new bedspread!  How sweet and kind is that?!  I still can't get over her generosity. 

I will take pictures when it comes.

Last night I came home after a busy afternoon of kid's activities to...

A PAINTED ROOM!

My amazing man (he's kind of like Mr. Incredible) worked hard to secretly paint the room before I got home so that I didn't have to deal with the mess.  How thoughtful is that?!  I had not planned on the room getting paint until next week because I knew Andrew would be busy at work this week.

We picked a medium brown because the bedding will probably be a dark brown and will be a good contrast.

Browns to me are very relaxing.  Maybe that's why I like to garden...getting my hands into the dirt is fun and invigorating. 

Okay, maybe it's not for all of you!

But ever since I was a kid I loved to play outside, getting dirty was just an added bonus.  :)

I'll keep the pictures coming so you can see the progress.

Need Relationships

Andrew is away for the weekend.

Joshua and Angela are with my wonderful Mother-in-law for the weekend.

It has just been Jeremy and I.

We've had so much fun together.

It has been very difficult to enjoy special alone time with each other since I've felt so miserable.  

He is such a silly guy.

I'm amazed at how quiet it is around here.

In the car today I was listening to a sermon on the radio.

He talked about how God Made Us to be in a Relationship.

Relationship with God.

Relationship with people.

We need relationships...high definition relationships (as he called it).  Not just surface superficial relationships, but real-life heart to heart ones.
He also mentioned that we can make all kinds of excuses why we can't, or don't, have friends.  When it all comes down to it, God gives us daily opportunities to connect with people but it's up to us to take them.

This past year I have out of commission.  I have not had the energy to do anything but the bare necessities.  I have dropped the ball on maintaining my friendships.  I know that most friends are understanding and have extended grace.  But at the same time my heart grieves and part of me feels empty because I haven't been able to invest in people.

 God Made us to Need Relationships,  
                not just to get but to give...to need each other.

We find much joy when we love God and love others.

We are incomplete if we only love God. 

I can say I love others, but when I truly show it that's when my love becomes real.

Both of my Grandmas have been going through difficult times in their lives.  The one thing that I have noticed more and more is that when they feel needed they feel loved. 
They belong.  
They are valued.  
Their lives are worth something.

It has been sweet involving the kids into taking care of Grandmas.  The kids help Grandma, and Grandma helps the kids.  It is a beautiful thing.

Family is extra special because they are yours for a lifetime.  Unfortunately those are the most relationships that we take for granted.  If only we knew how to speak each others "love language" fluently!  That is the joy of discovering what they are and how we can "speak" it.


In regards to this past 6+ months...

Thank you to every one of you who have
said "hi",
or given a hug,
or written an encouraging word,
or spoken scripture,
or prayed for us,
or helped out physically watching our kids, meals, and anything else! 
Every little gesture of love was big BIG to us and is
VERY MUCH appreciated.
Don't ever underestimate kindness!
As a friend recently said (and lived out):
 Let your speech always be filled with grace, seasoned, as it were with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.  (Col. 4:6)

I've been through some very low point these past few weeks.  I cannot imagine going through this without the firm foundation of knowing that God is the I AM. 
I have not been able to stand strong so I have fallen on the Grace of God and had to let Him carry me.
This one line from a song (Rich Mullins) that has been on my heart as I have cried out to God for help:

If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through,

And if I can't let me fall on the Grace that first brought me to You.

If I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs

But if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home.

I am thankful for the patient love of my husband and children.  One day here, or there, maybe a week or a month would be do-able...but over a YEAR?! (with no end in sight?!).  

They are real troopers to have to put up with me :) and also pitch in to help more than ever.

A Few Good Days

Two 1/2 Weeks after surgery.

Every day I see more improvement in regards to the progress of healing.  I am able to blow gently.  I can touch my nose, make facial expressions and smile without it hurting.   I am sleeping better at night.
5 days ago was the first good day I've had since surgery.  I felt motivated and had fun running errands with Jeremy (Josh and Angela were with Andrew).  Even though I could still feel the headaches they were more in the background and didn't consume my day.  I didn't even need a nap!

New Years Eve we spent at a friend's house.  It was a great evening of fun, games, catching up on each others lives and...eating.  That whole day I didn't feel well at all, but by evening I was doing better. 
We didn't end up getting into bed until 1:30am!

Can you believe with that late night:

Jan 1st was a good day!

It was awesome having another day when I wasn't exhausted and hurting (maybe I need to stay up late and hang out with friends every night?!).  We had a relaxing day watching football with another couple and their kids.

On New Years I grew up with the Tradition that my Mom would give each family member a book as a gift.  It was always fun receiving something new to start the new year on.

We decided that since we're trying to draw the focus of Christmas less on gifts and more on Christ (although we still do gifts, but keep them few and cost effective) that it would be fun to start the New Year opening a gift.

This year's THEME was:

"Growing in the Talents God has Given You" 

Andrew has been into trying different recipes,

so I gave him a bunch of items to help him learn to make sushi.  :)

Jeremy loves to play games that have a purpose,

so we gave him a puzzle to strengthen his logic skills.

Angela is really into art,

so we gave her a daily calendar of Watercolor tips and outlines to paint.

Joshua has a talent of playing the piano by ear,

so we gave him a blank video tape to record his music on.  We hope that it will encourage him to practice so he can perform, review, improve, entertain, and share his music.

This past year has been a tough one on me physically, emotionally and spiritually,

so Andrew gave me the gift of a bedroom makeover so that I will have a place to go that will encourage: rest, refreshment and feeling renewed. 

I cried when he gave it to me because that's all I want right now.
I know I can go anywhere and find the peace and presence of God because He is already there...it doesn't have to be a special place.  But at the same time we need those places we can retreat to so that we can spend quiet, relational time with God, allowing Him to speak to us through His Word.  Those are the times that we find true healing, rest, peace, hope, joy.