3 weeks of Thankfulness

It has been 3 weeks since my craniotomy and tumor removal.

Painful.

Long.

Unbearable.

Yet in all the pain we've had love and support by family and friends. 

God was with me.  Is with me.  Immanuel.  My sustainer, comforter, provider.

In pain there has been a perspective gained of thankfulness:
Thankful that it wasn't worse.
Thankful that I am alive.
Thankful that everyday there has been some sort of progress, no matter how slight.
Thankful that the unexpected hurdles I've had to face are not permanent, but temporary, and in the big picture mild compared to the severity of complications that could've arisen.

Thanksgiving Day my family spent the day with Andrew's parents, a tradition that we have had for years.  Watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade eating a big breakfast and enjoying just hanging out.
I stayed home and did my usual resting, reserving my strength for later.  Andrew came and got me in the afternoon and I was able to join the family for Thanksgiving Dinner. What a treat!
Honestly, it was physically painful.  My eyes were killing me.
But it was so wonderful mentally to be with the people I love!  
It was worth it.
I don't have any pictures to share with you yet.
I'm not so scary looking anymore.  :)
I'm able to do a pretty good comb-over with my hair that hides the scar.
Although make-up is still difficult to put on the eye affected by bells palsy I was able to put a bit on for thanksgiving yesterday.  It felt good to look a bit like my old self. :)

Can you hear me cheering?  This is the point I've been praying for: that this would be bearable.  Not even pain-free, just bearable.  I'm praising God!

One 1/2 Weeks After

It has been almost two weeks since the tumor came out.
There is a lot to be thankful for!

The throbbing pain has lessened a lot and is actually bearable.  Still popping pain pills on a regular basis, but at least they finally seem to make an effect.

I'm not sleeping 24/7 anymore.  I gradually moved to every 2 hours taking a 30 min nap to now I only take 2 or three naps a day.   I am sleeping on the bed, propped up, rather than sitting up on the couch.  That has made a huge difference!

My face swelling has gone down considerably.

The biggest issue we're dealing with right now is Bells Palsy as a result of surgery.  That is facial paralisis on the right side.  The main difficulty is with my right eye not blinking, drying out and continually stinging.  The muscles are all confused.  The Bells Palsy makes it impossible to close but the survival instinct of my body makes it want to close so the muscles on both eyes are continually aching and throbbing sore.

I haven't been able to update until now because of the eye issue.  I can't see long enough to type.  But I wore an eye patch to bed last night to force the eye closed so I'm hoping it will hold off the pain for a couple hours now.  :)

Starting last week I began taking walks out of the house.  A friend or family member would take me each time.  It feels so great to get out.  It has been super healthy to get my legs moving without stressing my body out.  I never imagined that I could possibly stay inside a house for 10 days straight and still be sane.  :)  Part of what makes it bearable is that outside the house represents discomfort and added pain to what I already have so my body accepts these walls as protection more than a prison.

I've had a few visitors which have lifted my spirits, let me cry and express my frustrations and who have prayed for me.


We have never felt so supported by friendship and love.  Every single person who has done something to ease us through this pain and suffering, whether it's bringing a meal, cleaning my kitchen, bringing flowers, or even just expressed their concern, prayed with us, or sent a letter...all, every little/big thing, has been a gift we have treasured deeply.

God, our Father, the One who adopted us into His own, He set up a beautiful way to care for his children.  By creating the "body", the church.   Grouping us together to love and care for one another.  Loving each other through tragedy, walking with each other through difficulty, bearing one another's burdens. 

Thank you for helping us to bear this.

new indian name: Sitting Girl

Sitting on my rear since Thursday has taken it's toll on my body.  I stand up just to change positions and wiggle my legs.  But when I stand my head throbs so I'm back on the couch after a couple seconds.
Sunday Morning:

This is just the beginning of the swelling.  couldn't even attempt to open the eye, it continued to get worse until Monday and lots of icing (no, not cupcakes- that would've been yummy, but real ice in an ice pack).

If I were feeling good I would've loved to have seen what it looked like going through the airport.
My face was swollen shut, with my little elf hat, I was so drugged up that all I could do was sleep, in a wheelchair, on the floor, just sleep.  Andrew worked the brain surgery angle to get us an earlier flight and seats together.  One look at me and no one wanted to sit next to me! 

I thought coming home would be easier.
If the pain would just lesson I could handle this.
One day at a time.
I'm so hungry, but have no appetite.  The meds annoy my empty stomach...thankful for ensure and chicken soup broth...my life lines.
The kids are still with extended family, who are gifts from heaven.  They have made this possible.  I got to see the kids for a couple min the other day.  It was good exposure for them for a gradual move back home.
It's really hard to imagine your mom looking like Quasimodo from Hunchback of Notre dame.
Kind of a shock.










Andrew is an amazing husband.  Taking good care of me and patient when I ask him the same question over and over, or say things that are off the wall.

Tuesday:

Please pray that the pain can get back down.  I just can't handle this throbbing.

My face doesn't work on the right side unless I manually make it.  Like closing my eye or opening my mouth.  That will be a slow progression of healing. But I'll be okay with that..it's just I can't handle the pounding and stiff neck from pain -that is torturous.
Okay, enough wining and complaning.  :)

Thank you, thank you dear friends for praying... for your love and support through all of this.