going green

After my craniotomy I felt very depleted of vitamins and nutrients.  

During the surgery I was pumped up with drugs, and then for a week or two afterwords felt soaked in them.
I couldn't eat vegetables or fruit for over a month because my jaw pain was too immense. 
But I needed to replenish my body with those essential vitamins.  What to do?

Go green.

 Every morning I combine:

Kale -1 or 2 leaves

Spinach- 2 or 3 cups

1 apple

5 baby carrots

2 t. flax

I put in all in a blender.

 

Adding a few ice cubes to step up the taste.

The taste:

I'd be lying if I said the taste was amazing, or delicious. 
It took a while to get used to it. 
It's not sweet like a fruit smoothie, but has a very fresh and cool flavor.
It has grown on me.

After  1 1/2 months of the same thing for b-fast every morning I've started adding other things to my potion:

cucumbers

blueberries 

celery

Orange

What keeps me going back to it every morning is the HUGE nutritional value...

And there is NO way 

I could eat that many vegetables  

(especially without salad dressing) 

every day. 

So, I'm staying green...

touching life with my fingertips

It's been difficult to adjust to the "normal" world. 

I've ventured out and tried to increase normal activity slowly but it's been treacherously slow. 

Maybe the hardest part is that outwardly I look like I'm back to my old self, and often times I feel like I could be back to it also.  But my eyes and head just don't want to cooperate.  

If I talk too much, 

          think too hard, 

                move too fast, 

                     or am out of the house too long 

my eye muscles hurt, my head throbs, and my head wants to burst with exhaustion.

Honestly, it's down-right frustrating to feel like "life" is at my fingertips 

yet not be able to take hold of it.

This past month has been a very lonely one.

My house has felt like a prison.   If I go out of the house for too long it increases the stress of coping with the pain and so back into the house I must go.  The first month & 1/2 was easy staying home.  But this last month I'm like a horse jumping at the bit to get back on the course of life.

Just the past few weeks I've been able to start driving during the day.  That has added a lot of freedom and yet has been discouraging because, although the pain is bearable, I cannot do much.

There ARE mornings though

           I wake up and have courage to face the day.

                     I look at the little moments that can place purpose into the mundane day.

                                  And I can see visible expressions of God's love for me.


But then after a few days, discouragement sets in
               I'm crying alone.
                           My kids are wishing I wasn't in pain.
                                         My husband is worn out from carrying the load of the family and doing everything in his power to help me ...and yet still sees me remain in pain.


The only thing that has kept me from crossing into Crazy Land is remembering.

Remembering to trust my Loving Father who provides, and knows, and satisfies all my needs.
Remembering to be thankful for the little things.
Remembering WHO I have around me.
Remembering to have compassion for others in pain.
Remembering that God will care for my family.
Remembering....